As an addicted reader of parenting books, I don’t think I have come across any that are any good that don’t mention the importance of prioritising your marriage relationship. Sometimes, however, that seems an impossible task amongst nappy changing, homework, cooking, housework and for many, holding down a job. The problem then is you get your one date night out in 8 weeks and the last thing you want to do is bring up any problems or niggles that you have. So when do you bring up the fact that you are tired of picking up your husband’s socks from the middle of the lounge each morning? Or the fact you really think at aged 6 your son should now be sleeping in his own bed, not with your wife!
Something Dan and I found really helpful was doing a Marriage course. It lasts for 8 weeks and covers all sorts of subjects. We didn’t really have any problems and had always prided ourselves that we were great communicators. How wrong we were! It soon became apparent that neither of us were really good listeners! I was a terrible interrupter. I never listened until he has completely finished, butting in with my reply or finishing his sentences for him. Dan is a fixer. He would listen to my download of the day and then try to “fix” me or the situation. Often he wouldn’t listen to the whole story because he was too busy working out the solution! ( and often quoted the bible which was even more frustrating!!). The course actually gave us space to share that with one another and help improve things which has been great. It also helps you practice making time for your marriage each week as there is homework to do.
It will take some effort to clear the space to fit in an evening a week for 8 weeks and organise babysitters but it is well worth it. Your relationship with your spouse is core to the family unit and needs preserving. Check out the Marriage course website for more details and a list of churches that run the course close to you. Dan and I attended the one at Holy Trinity Brompton who are the producers of the course. There you get your own little table and private dinner which is lovely. They also run courses on single parenting and recovering from divorce or separation which you can find at the same link.
