Positive Parenting- Giving your children a reason to be good

I don’t know about you but as an addict of TV programmes like Supernanny, Little Angels, or House of Tiny Tearaways etc, I have always been amazed that parents have to be taught how to give their children praise and positive attention. It was therefore a bit of a rude awakening when I did an NSPCC positive parenting course last year and found out how little I too, give my kids postive attention.

The theory behind Positive Parenting is that the more attention you give to the good behaviour the less likely children are to try and get your attention through bad behaviour. Here’s how to introduce it in to your household.

Week 1

Think about the best time of day for your child. When are they easiest to deal with or in a good mood? This is usually the times we ignore our kids because they are not being troublesome.

Week 2

Start to spend time with your child at these “good times” and give them your full attention. Don’t use this time to get something else done.

Week 3

Carry on giving you child attention at a particular time of day but now try to think of something nice to say to the every hour that you are together. This may sound a bit false but if you have got into a cylce of bad behaviour and nagging you may go for sometime without saying anything positive to them.

Week 4

This is probably the hardest of all. Now your child knows he gets attention for good behaviour, you need to withdraw attention for the bad behaviour. You must still take your child back to bed when he gets out and and make sure that he is playing safely but try to act rather that react. Remove him firmly to “time out” or take away the toy with a firm “No!”. With a toddler tantrum , sometimes the best thing to do is just leave the room.

Let me know how you get on. Please don’t read this as a reason not to discipline your kids. Children need firm bounderies and to be taught the difference between right from wrong. What we are trying to ensure is that they are encouraged to be good by lavishing them with praise when they are.

2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Tami said,

    I love this- we could all do more

  2. 2

    Taryn said,

    How true! Nice one Amanda 🙂

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